Monday, November 22, 2010!
HandWritten on; 6:59 PM
i just totally died at pharm anal paper today. omgosh, i have nothing to say other than SIGH. and that i could have done better.
which is more worrying when you're mugging? knowing you have the chance to do well at a module, or knowing even if you do well for this paper you'll only do mediocre. i was just thinking abt that yesterday.
everyday i just wallow in my thoughts, many many questions stemmed from nowhere (you know how is it when you're studying, it seems like there're so many other things you can think abt, when in fact there arent) why am i doing this???? why do i feel so miserable. my mom keeps scolding me whenever i tell her that studying's really tough, she says working is even harder. which is perhaps true. but i have been studying since k1 ?? hahaha. and uni is really the worst studying experience of my life. at the end of every sem, studying for papers just zaps out everything alive in me. it used to be how one week isnt sufficient to mug for papers, but now to me one week is so goddamn torturous i felt myself dying off mentally and feeling weak so many times its almost like ive been mugging 24 hours every single day for like, half a year? more than that? i dont know. i just know i have never dreamt that i would feel this way. perhaps this is what happens when you dont have passion for something in my life.
what i can do now is really wait, and hope "the dots will connect themselves in the future" and my life would be wonderful then. Thanks Dr Eric Chan (and Steve Jobs).